Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Don't you just hate it when Jude Law breaks into your house? There was a loud crash at three in this morning, and, yep, there he was, Jude Law, standing in my living room, having broken into my house, wearing an impeccable three-piece suit and a novelty tie done up in a knot apparently of his own device, the half-half Windsor. I asked if that would make it a quarter Windsor, but Jude Law said that he no longer believed in fractions, as they were all "liars and brigands". But wouldn't "half" constitute a fraction? No; because half and half make one. I conceded the point, as I couldn't in good conscience call his concoction a full Windsor, nor a half-Windsor, and any arguments for the existence of fractions seemed to agitate him. Surveying the living room, and discovering that nothing seemed amiss, I then inquired as to the cause of the crash that had startled me from my slumber. He then defenestrated himself. Damn it, Jude Law.

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